How many times have you seen the eyes roll and heard the deep grunting sigh when speaking to a teenager? It is a communication tool they use to let others know that they are feeling tread upon and unwelcoming the discussion. Teenagers are their own species, and are best studied by far as not to get to close as one would a lion in the jungle. A teenager can be a lot of fun if we approach them in a way that does not threaten their individualism. They can also be a lot of stress when we want to reach out to them and they have closed the door on us.
Patience is the key to successfully navigating the teenage years. Finding creativity in parenting to allow the teen to be who they want to be as well as guiding them in the right direction. Hopefully, without them realizing that we are guiding them at all. Teenagers want to be thought of as adults that know everything they need to know in the world, and they do not like their knowledge challenged. However, of all the age groups in adolescence the teenager is the one that needs the most guidance. Today's world is complicated and riddled with messages that can confuse a teenager trying to find their way. Parenting requires a lot of patience and some homework as well. Keeping up to date on the current fads, lingo and what music is hot is a good way to stay in touch with a teenager. Of course, we cannot go about it in a way that makes us “lame” as a parent talking about such things as if we understand it. Knowing who our teenagers are spending their time with is very important. More and more there are unsupervised children practically raising themselves and these kids are the ones that seem cool and fun to teenagers. Monitoring a teenagers emotions is important with parenting. There are a lot of kids that are slipping through the cracks, dealing with depression and apprehension in their lives. Keeping an even balance in a teenagers life is a good way of allowing individual assertion as well as activities that challenge their minds and allows social interaction. Extracurricular activities are best to keep a balance in their lives. Sports, Drama, clubs and or a part time job will allow a teenager to find independence and responsibility.
Being determined and consistent in parenting will get both the parent and the teenager through the maze of those hardest years and bring forth a well rounded young adult. The key to making it through is a sense of humor and looking back into our past and remembering what it was like to be a teenager ourselves. Sometimes as we grow older we tend to forget the emotions and angst that we felt at that age. Tapping into our past helps us to be better parents to our kids. Finding it in ourselves to relate on a level that allows open communication and growth keeps the door open with our young forming adults.
The entire process from small loving child to happy young adult is trying and a lot of hard work. It makes us remember the sleepless nights of infancy and the constant chasing of toddlers as times that we cherish and although sleepless nights and constant chasing down of teenagers is not much different in our own exhaustion; the way in how we handle it makes all the difference in the world. We do not have to be their friends, but we should be friendly. We do not have to allow their every whim, but allowing expression and discussion teaches communication. We do not have to accept their answers or excuses but listening and keeping an open mind to their reasoning teaches them that they are not being shut out. A teenager needs validation and acceptance not only from their peers but from the adults in their life as well.
Take time to put aside the impending doom you feel when your teenager rolls their eyes and sighs loudly at your words. Keep in mind that the time goes by so quickly, that before we know it they are off into the world following their dreams and aspirations. How we help guide them through this tumultuous time in their lives is the precursor to how they make that first step into adulthood.
Family Best: Life, Family, Farm, Fun, Food and Everything Else Under The North Georgia Mountains Sun!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
Betrayal
Betrayal
According to the definition from the free dictionary.com the definition is as follows:
be·tray
tr.v. be·trayed, be·tray·ing, be·trays
1.
a. To give aid or information to an enemy of; commit treason against: betray one's country.
b. To deliver into the hands of an enemy in violation of a trust or allegiance: betrayed Christ to the Romans.
2.To be false or disloyal to
3.To divulge in a breach of confidence
3.To make known unintentionally:
4.To reveal against one's desire or will.
5.To lead astray; deceive
The effects of betrayal are many but the first most prevalent effect is distress. This emotion encompasses a person and takes over all of their thoughts. The loss of trust can be devastating to a person that feels betrayed. The more trust a person has in another the bigger feeling of loss and the stronger the effect of betrayal.
Following this initial feeling of distress, comes anger then fear and repulsion. These emotions can put a person into physical illness or undue stress.
The next effect of betrayal is the human inclination for justice. A person wants to right the wrong and reach out and cause distress to the one that has betrayed them. The natural effect such as in the bible, an eye for an eye comes to mind first and foremost. However, later in the bible Jesus says love thy enemies and God instructs to love thy brother as you would love yourself. How then can one who believes in the word of God, look for justice?
This topic brings me to where I am today. I feel I have had a confidence betrayed and I feel at a loss as what to do about it. How do I do the right thing and also find the closure and the right frame of mind to even absorb this issue.
I find in life we feel that we can trust certain people in our lives enough to let them into our own private worlds. For me, that is not an easy task, I'm not that open to bringing new people into my life and I find it very hard to build trust in others. But, I did feel I had found a person that I could trust and share things with, and allowed her to know more about me as a person. But, now I have found that my trust in another has left me feeling distressed and very sad. A person that can share another persons information without regard to how it will affect anyone and then nonchalantly feel like it is no big deal and when confronted blames the person they told the information too, is just plain wrong. No matter how you work that scenario it still equals betrayal.
Of course this goes right back to the topic overcoming obstacles. Now this obstacle is before me and I must find the right way to overcome it with a positive attitude and the correct frame of mind. This goes to my conclusion that life is a maze. Choices guide us with each step and every choice we make matters in the long run. I made a poor choice trusting someone and now it has created an obstacle for me to overcome. Will I get past this? Yes, with a lot of thought and contemplation I will overcome this obstacle and will do it with the right intentions and stay in my beliefs that I am to love thy brother and thy enemies. I will not seek justice nor will I let the fear and anger that I am feeling take over my life. I will work through the feelings I am dealing with day by day and learn from my mistake. For me, that mistake is letting others get to close. That saying never show your hand makes a lot of sense to me. I won't get caught off guard again, age does bring wisdom.
According to the definition from the free dictionary.com the definition is as follows:
be·tray
tr.v. be·trayed, be·tray·ing, be·trays
1.
a. To give aid or information to an enemy of; commit treason against: betray one's country.
b. To deliver into the hands of an enemy in violation of a trust or allegiance: betrayed Christ to the Romans.
2.To be false or disloyal to
3.To divulge in a breach of confidence
3.To make known unintentionally:
4.To reveal against one's desire or will.
5.To lead astray; deceive
The effects of betrayal are many but the first most prevalent effect is distress. This emotion encompasses a person and takes over all of their thoughts. The loss of trust can be devastating to a person that feels betrayed. The more trust a person has in another the bigger feeling of loss and the stronger the effect of betrayal.
Following this initial feeling of distress, comes anger then fear and repulsion. These emotions can put a person into physical illness or undue stress.
The next effect of betrayal is the human inclination for justice. A person wants to right the wrong and reach out and cause distress to the one that has betrayed them. The natural effect such as in the bible, an eye for an eye comes to mind first and foremost. However, later in the bible Jesus says love thy enemies and God instructs to love thy brother as you would love yourself. How then can one who believes in the word of God, look for justice?
This topic brings me to where I am today. I feel I have had a confidence betrayed and I feel at a loss as what to do about it. How do I do the right thing and also find the closure and the right frame of mind to even absorb this issue.
I find in life we feel that we can trust certain people in our lives enough to let them into our own private worlds. For me, that is not an easy task, I'm not that open to bringing new people into my life and I find it very hard to build trust in others. But, I did feel I had found a person that I could trust and share things with, and allowed her to know more about me as a person. But, now I have found that my trust in another has left me feeling distressed and very sad. A person that can share another persons information without regard to how it will affect anyone and then nonchalantly feel like it is no big deal and when confronted blames the person they told the information too, is just plain wrong. No matter how you work that scenario it still equals betrayal.
Of course this goes right back to the topic overcoming obstacles. Now this obstacle is before me and I must find the right way to overcome it with a positive attitude and the correct frame of mind. This goes to my conclusion that life is a maze. Choices guide us with each step and every choice we make matters in the long run. I made a poor choice trusting someone and now it has created an obstacle for me to overcome. Will I get past this? Yes, with a lot of thought and contemplation I will overcome this obstacle and will do it with the right intentions and stay in my beliefs that I am to love thy brother and thy enemies. I will not seek justice nor will I let the fear and anger that I am feeling take over my life. I will work through the feelings I am dealing with day by day and learn from my mistake. For me, that mistake is letting others get to close. That saying never show your hand makes a lot of sense to me. I won't get caught off guard again, age does bring wisdom.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Overcoming Obstacles
Life is a maze. The journey is riddled with obstacles in all sorts of situations and maneuvering through the journey and making the right choices is the key to success. Do we always make the right choice? Sadly, no we do not. However, learning from our mistakes is part of the experience that makes us wise and gives us knowledge on how to move ahead. My father once told me that he could tell me all the mistakes that I would make but then I would never learn anything from them. This information has stayed with me throughout my life. When I make a choice that did not work for me, I remember those words that I have to learn from my mistakes. Raising my children, I too have borrowed that statement and shared that information with my children. Will it stay with them as it did me? I do not know the answer to that yet, but I can hope that it will and whatever mistakes they make, that they do learn from them.
You may be saying to yourself right now, I do not have any obstacles in my life, everything goes as I want it to. Is that true? Taking a moment to reflect might show you that you combat and deal with obstacles every day and do not even realize it. You could have had to overcome an obstacle just logging onto the computer today or with a search engine trying to find what you were looking for on the internet. There are many different forms of obstacles and learning to recognize the strength and abilities we as human beings have in overcoming them is the beginning step in finding ways to make the most of your life.
Some people choose to tackle obstacles head on and just bull rush right through them, taking no prisoners effect and just looking out for themselves. This could seem ideal at first until you see the path of destruction behind you. Others might find it easier to go the Ostrich route. Bury your head in the sand and it should all go away. This usually leads to a larger situation in the long run. There are those that turn every small detail into a major catastrophe so that the most minor obstacle seems like a mountain to cross. There are some that find it easier to evade and blame others and then take no true responsibility for their path. No matter how people deal with obstacles in their lives, it definitely affects others around them. One might see a small obstacle as just a small obstacle but the other with them sees things with blinders on and only sees their own version of reality which then entails a dramatic catastrophic event. The other person is left with a gaping jaw and confusion as to how the other can make a mountain out of a mole hill.
From birth the maze of life is nothing more than overcoming obstacles that occur from the moment we take our first breath. How one learns to cope with life as we move through it is the difference between happiness and discontent.
My obstacles today might seem overwhelming to some and to others a typical day in their life. For me, I have been planning on how to get through a day full of activities with my family and make them all come into place with the least amount of stress. I am a planner and a list maker. I must have everything laid out so that I can see how it plays out. On the other hand my spouse is a casual it will all work out guy. I know this about myself and about him, so I plan accordingly. I have no worry that with all the current activities that are required today that they will all happen as they are supposed to. Does the thought of it stress me out and give me unnecessary worry? Of course it does and I will turn to what works for me most and that is my faith in God. Prayer and hope and my lists and planning will get me to the end zone of this day.
How will you get through today's obstacles? Do you have something big to deal with that requires all your energy or are you having an easier day where your biggest obstacle is filtering through the television channels? Whether is a day full of obstacles or a day where the obstacles seem easy to overcome, take a moment to reflect on how you make the choices that get you to your end results.
You may be saying to yourself right now, I do not have any obstacles in my life, everything goes as I want it to. Is that true? Taking a moment to reflect might show you that you combat and deal with obstacles every day and do not even realize it. You could have had to overcome an obstacle just logging onto the computer today or with a search engine trying to find what you were looking for on the internet. There are many different forms of obstacles and learning to recognize the strength and abilities we as human beings have in overcoming them is the beginning step in finding ways to make the most of your life.
Some people choose to tackle obstacles head on and just bull rush right through them, taking no prisoners effect and just looking out for themselves. This could seem ideal at first until you see the path of destruction behind you. Others might find it easier to go the Ostrich route. Bury your head in the sand and it should all go away. This usually leads to a larger situation in the long run. There are those that turn every small detail into a major catastrophe so that the most minor obstacle seems like a mountain to cross. There are some that find it easier to evade and blame others and then take no true responsibility for their path. No matter how people deal with obstacles in their lives, it definitely affects others around them. One might see a small obstacle as just a small obstacle but the other with them sees things with blinders on and only sees their own version of reality which then entails a dramatic catastrophic event. The other person is left with a gaping jaw and confusion as to how the other can make a mountain out of a mole hill.
From birth the maze of life is nothing more than overcoming obstacles that occur from the moment we take our first breath. How one learns to cope with life as we move through it is the difference between happiness and discontent.
My obstacles today might seem overwhelming to some and to others a typical day in their life. For me, I have been planning on how to get through a day full of activities with my family and make them all come into place with the least amount of stress. I am a planner and a list maker. I must have everything laid out so that I can see how it plays out. On the other hand my spouse is a casual it will all work out guy. I know this about myself and about him, so I plan accordingly. I have no worry that with all the current activities that are required today that they will all happen as they are supposed to. Does the thought of it stress me out and give me unnecessary worry? Of course it does and I will turn to what works for me most and that is my faith in God. Prayer and hope and my lists and planning will get me to the end zone of this day.
How will you get through today's obstacles? Do you have something big to deal with that requires all your energy or are you having an easier day where your biggest obstacle is filtering through the television channels? Whether is a day full of obstacles or a day where the obstacles seem easy to overcome, take a moment to reflect on how you make the choices that get you to your end results.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Getting back into the swing of things
The holidays came and went like a firestorm and kept me and the family busy. I got out of the swing of things with my blog but I'm ready to dive in and get back to writing again. The family has been making some important changes and we have had some positive experiences. Working to convert to the Catholic faith has become a priority in our family and we are all working hard to get the work done to become confirmed in the church. The kids are enjoying it and I'm seeing so much progress in their interactions with each other. It is nice to see the kids blooming in their faith. The kids are the ones that pushed the family in this direction, so we are all working hard to make this a reality in our family. It is a lot of work but well worth the effort and we all love learning about history and of course about Jesus and his life on this earth.
Evan got a new guitar for Christmas and he has been working hard improving his playing and writing some of his own songs. I am so proud of him and watching his talent grow is impressive. Playing only six months now he amazes me with his ability to pick up a song and have it down pat in no time.
He's been putting some of his stuff up on youtube! He tells me he is going to become famous on there! I should help so I'm adding his link, subscribe and watch him get better and better!
My oldest Trevor has a band it is called Church on the Move and they are taking North Georgia over with their fresh sound and great vocals. They are getting more and more interest from people and getting some playing gigs together. They have some amazing video as well and they write most of their own songs. They do play some cover songs but their own songs are incredible. Check them out as well I am going to put their links up to show them off too! If you are looking for a great band for an occasion, consider them! The Ballad of Alexander Supertramp is fabulous and the video is haunting but serene. The Waltz of Yesterday is another magnificent song they have written showing off their skill and talent. They have a facebook page for the band that anyone can join to download their music or keep up on their latest events. They also have a myspace too to listen to their songs.
Give them all a listen and tell them what you think, they love to hear feedback! That is about all the catching up I have for my blog. I am going to get back to a routine and keep it updated. I felt so guilty taking so long to write, but then again I have been so busy time just flew by!
Evan got a new guitar for Christmas and he has been working hard improving his playing and writing some of his own songs. I am so proud of him and watching his talent grow is impressive. Playing only six months now he amazes me with his ability to pick up a song and have it down pat in no time.
He's been putting some of his stuff up on youtube! He tells me he is going to become famous on there! I should help so I'm adding his link, subscribe and watch him get better and better!
My oldest Trevor has a band it is called Church on the Move and they are taking North Georgia over with their fresh sound and great vocals. They are getting more and more interest from people and getting some playing gigs together. They have some amazing video as well and they write most of their own songs. They do play some cover songs but their own songs are incredible. Check them out as well I am going to put their links up to show them off too! If you are looking for a great band for an occasion, consider them! The Ballad of Alexander Supertramp is fabulous and the video is haunting but serene. The Waltz of Yesterday is another magnificent song they have written showing off their skill and talent. They have a facebook page for the band that anyone can join to download their music or keep up on their latest events. They also have a myspace too to listen to their songs.
Give them all a listen and tell them what you think, they love to hear feedback! That is about all the catching up I have for my blog. I am going to get back to a routine and keep it updated. I felt so guilty taking so long to write, but then again I have been so busy time just flew by!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Nike the perfect Christmas Gift
The one thing that will be under our tree this year is Nike. The perfect gift for men, women, boys and girls is a new pair of tennis shoes or Nike sports clothing. The cold weather thermal tops are top notch when it comes to keeping warm on the field or when running in the colder weather. The Dri-fit technology works wonders keeping the bodies temperature regulated absorbing moisture and this is perfect when the weather is colder but activity breaks a sweat. The shoes have always been a great fit and a hard working shoe for any use. Nike has been a household name for many years and adorns the feet of youth athletes to professionals. There is no substitute for quality and endurance. Regardless, if you are shopping for the holidays or just getting ready for a winter, spring or summer sport, Nike is the way to go for the entire families needs.
Years ago Nike was a favorite of mine and I still remember the white tennis shoe with the red swoosh that I so excitedly wore to school to show off. Now, many years later I feel proud when my children show off their new Nike shoes with the same excitement. Being an avid walker I find that Nike never lets me down. Never a blister or feeling of tightness from the shoe nor a slip or slide in the heel, I always know I can get many miles out of a new pair. Purchasing cleats for my sons that play football, I can say that each year a new pair of Nike's will survive the entire season and could be used again and again, if they did not grow out of them. My daughter plays soccer and her cleats as well, take a beating and still finish the season looking almost as good as new. One product I must say has proven its quality is my sons back pack. It is on it's third year of heavy books and being tossed here and there and it still looks brand new. We have gone through more than one backpack a school year with other brands, but Nike never ceases to amaze me.
The colors and styles of Nike shoes is vast and it is almost hard to choose which ones to buy. The clothing is well made and pure quality. As a consumer of Nike, the product is well worth every dollar. This year our tree will have several Nike items wrapped delicately and placed beneath our Christmas tree, and I know that in the spring I will be prepping my tennis player and soccer star with more Nike products to get us through another season of sports. Once a true Nike lover always a true Nike lover and our affair started when I was a kid and not giving away my age, that was a long time ago. Purchase Nike this Christmas, as the saying goes "Just Do It" you will be happy you did!
Years ago Nike was a favorite of mine and I still remember the white tennis shoe with the red swoosh that I so excitedly wore to school to show off. Now, many years later I feel proud when my children show off their new Nike shoes with the same excitement. Being an avid walker I find that Nike never lets me down. Never a blister or feeling of tightness from the shoe nor a slip or slide in the heel, I always know I can get many miles out of a new pair. Purchasing cleats for my sons that play football, I can say that each year a new pair of Nike's will survive the entire season and could be used again and again, if they did not grow out of them. My daughter plays soccer and her cleats as well, take a beating and still finish the season looking almost as good as new. One product I must say has proven its quality is my sons back pack. It is on it's third year of heavy books and being tossed here and there and it still looks brand new. We have gone through more than one backpack a school year with other brands, but Nike never ceases to amaze me.
The colors and styles of Nike shoes is vast and it is almost hard to choose which ones to buy. The clothing is well made and pure quality. As a consumer of Nike, the product is well worth every dollar. This year our tree will have several Nike items wrapped delicately and placed beneath our Christmas tree, and I know that in the spring I will be prepping my tennis player and soccer star with more Nike products to get us through another season of sports. Once a true Nike lover always a true Nike lover and our affair started when I was a kid and not giving away my age, that was a long time ago. Purchase Nike this Christmas, as the saying goes "Just Do It" you will be happy you did!
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