Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Do you ever feel like you are standing in quick sand as a parent, sinking slowly as you try hard to do what is right? I feel that way a lot of the time with my kids. I want them to be happy and have great values and self esteem. I try to guide them without stymatizing them and I try very hard to keep all communication open. Sometimes though, no matter how many times you say things, how many times you try to guide them they make bad choices anyway!
I spent the weekend reevaulating my parenting, questioning myself and feeling downright miserable after my 18 year old son spent the night in jail for something just plain stupid. How did this happen? He graduated from High school with honors and is beginning college in just a couple of weeks. Where did this boy's head go? I cried and I fumed, I felt sick and devastated as well as disappointed and then sorrowful. It was quite the roller coaster ride. I finally came to terms with it all and just decided to dig in and do what I do best, be his mother. We are now dealing with his mistake and although I'm still shaking my head and feeling very confused to what he and his other friends, also very good kids decided on that night, well its all just hard to wrap your head around. Either way, its all going to work out, he will have to pay for his play and the price is steep. A very good learning lesson in that regard!
I just find it hard to accept that he made a bad choice being so smart, and having to get over the embarassment that I feel inside. I feel like somehow I failed as a parent, but then again, I can't always feel responsible for what he chooses as a new young adult. This new stage in our lives, this parent and young adult is a new phase. Very hard to find my footing with, but every day I wake up and try to accept it and learn from it. I know this will be a great learning lesson for me as my other two grow up and become adults. I think its much easier to be a mom when they are kids then when they are starting off into adulthood.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
The summer days are long and hot and the kids are always bored, no matter what you do or suggest for them. It's a long period of time for all involved and it can get very frustrating. The mess about the house, the higher food bills for snacks and of course if your house is like mine, you have suddenly gained at least three extra children. I thought I would look up some sites that would make summer less daunting and overwhelming and more fun for everyone.
This one has some cute ideas for the kids. We don't want to leave out the older kids as well and I think this one looks like a great idea. Of course you have your traditional amusement parks, and water parks and such, but that can get costly and with the price of fuel it's time to think thrifty and close to home. My older kids enjoy a good game of tennis or basketball and they have taken up croquet. My yard at times can look like a sports mine field until I urge them to clean it up. Hiking is a great favourite but of course we live in the mountains. Be careful if you have adventurous kids they should know the do's and don'ts of such things and be aware of the poisionous snakes and spiders and always always check them well for ticks. Reading is a big favorite at my house and with my oldest starting college we went and got his semester read ahead of the time for him to start with its called Three cups of tea. I've read a bit of it and it seems like a touching saga. For my daughter she received a list of books to catch up on over the summer for the reading bowl next year in school. So far, she's getting ahead of the game as I went ahead and purchased a few of the titles to keep her busy this summer. My middle child is a challenge he still hasn't found his genre but is always amazed at how good a book is once recommended. He seems to like historic adventure, but of course I can't TELL him that, that would make me WRONG haha.
Cooking and grilling out is always fun and making home made ice cream. It seems once the day is come to a slow pitch in the evening we are all ready to spend time enjoying each other and a meal together is the best way to do that.
Whatever you choose to do to entertain your bored children over the summer I wish you luck, I know how frustrating it is to try to find a balance and keep somewhat of a schedule going. It's so difficult.